There are moments in your life... Life breaking moments. When you just... Break. When you fall head long sliding head first into the dirt, arms spread out before you as you try to futily stop your momentum... Somehow change the course that you have found yourself heading toward. A course you didn't get to choose. One you would trade any painful moment in your past for. Everything you thought that was... Not. Changed. It's one of the worst and most heart rending moments in your life. A game changer. A defining moment and opportunity to let go. Surrender. Completely. The truth of never being in control in the first place sinking in and sinking deep. The painful truths leaking and then pouring out so fast you can't stop them from running through your fingers and rushing ahead of you. Your mind spinning and your heart beat racing... And you want so badly to grip
tight to something... to anything... Just to stop falling forward fast. And when you finally do... with your face planted in the dirt... Your knees skinned straight through the cloth protecting them... your hands bloody from the attempt to stop the fall.... the tears making tracks through the dirt on your face... the wracking of your body and the overwhelming emotion can not be contained... And it's not. It's laid bare for all to see... The raw and the ugly... the painful and the beautiful all mingling together as one. My words and whispered prayers filtering back in slow motion and powerful punch... "Let our lives be a living testimony... Let us be a reflection of Your Glory and Power in us... Through us..." I said that... I felt the strength of it shoot straight through my heart and out my lips like a prophetic sting. As I lift my head with palms turned up... I worship. I WORSHIP. And I choose to TRUST. I grip tight to the One who is kneeling right in front me. His knees dirty with mine. His tears my own.
In the face of my enemy I stare hard and deep... I. Will. Worship.
I. Will. Not. Stop.
I won't let go... I won't ever stop...
Even face down in the dirt.
I. Will. Worship.
“Praise be to the Lord my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle. He is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield, in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples under me. Lord, what are human beings that you care for them, mere mortals that you think of them? They are like a breath; their days are like a fleeting shadow. Part your heavens, Lord, and come down; touch the mountains, so that they smoke. Send forth lightning and scatter the enemy; shoot your arrows and rout them. Reach down your hand from on high; deliver me and rescue me from the mighty waters, from the hands of foreigners whose mouths are full of lies, whose right hands are deceitful. I will sing a new song to you, my God; on the ten-stringed lyre I will make music to you, to the One who gives victory to kings, who delivers his servant David. From the deadly sword deliver me; rescue me from the hands of foreigners whose mouths are full of lies, whose right hands are deceitful. Then our sons in their youth will be like well-nurtured plants, and our daughters will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace. Our barns will be filled with every kind of provision. Our sheep will increase by thousands, by tens of thousands in our fields; our oxen will draw heavy loads. There will be no breaching of walls, no going into captivity, no cry of distress in our streets. Blessed is the people of whom this is true; blessed is the people whose God is the Lord.”
Psalm 144:1-15 NIV