Reflecting

Today has dawned with so much reflection for me..... 

Where has this last school year gone?
This year has whizzed by and although I feel like we always say that, it feels more my reality than ever today. As I made my son's breakfast for his last day of his freshman year I couldn't help but feel a little nostalgic. And not just because he's going to officially be a sophomore after the end of today, although that alone can start the water works, but because of all of the change this past year has brought to our small family.

We started off so fast after moving here across two state lines.  Attempting  to figure out what and where home is. We walked into it with high hopes, anticipation, and with a little anxiety sprinkled with fear. We have started connecting to our new environments and surroundings, but in so many ways we still stand on the fringe still very much feeling like outsiders.

We have begun to see a little bit of our purpose here, but we are still looking around with question marks and wondering. 

New house, new jobs, new schools, new church, new relationships, new accomplishments, new challenges, and new victories. 

It's felt like a really long hike and I don't feel like I can slip off my backpack quite yet. I'm not sure if I ever will. I love where we are and what and who we are surrounded by but  I still have this deep desire to explore more and adventure into areas yet unknown for us. Other places and new lands. Whether God keeps us here for an extended amount of time, or for a few short years, only time will tell. I feel as though we took a huge leap of faith off an enormous cliff and have landed temporarily in this beautiful land with beautiful people who've welcomed us. I wonder at times why I still very much feel like a nomad. Like one just passing through on a greater journey. Is it just the human condition or is it very much my families calling and destiny? I am learning to step in and stand a little more into the circles surrounding me here but still often times feel awkward and uncomfortable if I stay in them too long. It's this balancing act I haven't quite perfected yet. As I encourage my children to engage I have to remind myself to do the same. On the surface it appears that we are... But in so many ways at heart level we are still pushing ourselves to be brave and to not hold back even if we are unsure. That feeling of newness hasn't worn off yet and the emotions of acclimating haven't quite settled. We are growing and changing and in so many ways are continuing to be stretched beyond our comfort zones.

As I drove my son to school today I felt tears begin to well up inside me. It has been an interesting, joyful, tough, hopeful, and growing year for all of us. Amidst all of the emotions roiling and building this morning I felt this pressure to release some of it. Like water bubbling up that can't be contained. 

At the forefront of it all.... I am so thankful. 

For so many things. 

For those that have and continue to pray for our family amidst the huge change in our lives. For those that have welcomed us graciously and invited us freely into their circles and lives here. For our home that has become our safe harbor and  feels more us than anything has in a while. For our family here who we get to build deeper relationships with.  For our new church that continues to bless, grow, and challenge us. For friends and family far away who miss us enough to keep reaching out and loving us from afar. For new opportunities, new challenges, and new ways of looking and thinking about things. 

All of this last school year has brought so much.... and as I reflect today I am left with many many emotions... the greatest one I have and can't contain...

I am thankful. 

So very very thankful. 

Until another tomorrow, 

~Melissa

"We give thanks to You, O God,we give thanks, For Your name is near; Men declare Your wondrous works." Psalm 75:1 NASB

"Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, For His lovingkindness is everlasting. Let the redeemed say so," Psalm 107:1,2