Thursday, October 14, 2010
I am up early this morning.
After helping my brother in law get my niece off to school I just couldn't go back to sleep.
So many things running through my mind.
So many many things....
I have been contemplating so many things of late that my head feels full. It always feels full.
Full of "things"... full of life... full of "stuff"... and full of some of the things that I don't so much want taking up space in my already overcrowded thought processes.
I have been trying not to over think too much. But I usually always fail at this.
I have been over thinking my last post.
Was I too self reflective... too self imposing... too self centered... was it just too too much?
Over and over.
I never want it to seem like I am so full.... full of myself that I alienate those very people that I long to touch.
And then there is the other "stuff" that consumes my thinking.
The more or less important things in life.
I am sitting here, in a place I love, with people I love, getting the chance to serve them, and hopefully love on them they way that I do it.... I know that sometimes my over thinking can get in the way of that.
I am constantly in quiet contemplation about the very things that God is asking me to do.
Am I where I should be?
Am I doing enough?
I know that introspection in its minimal form is good... I am just trying not to dive in too deep before I miss the very things that God is trying to teach me at this moment.
I love watching and observing others, but often times it can be quite painful and excruciating.
It brings out the deep parts of me that want to fix everything... mend... and make things better.
I am realizing that sometimes just being in a certain situation... and allowing God to put you where He needs you to be and just being.... is sometimes enough.
It is enough so that He can be the one doing the things that are very much needing to be done.
It is enough to merely love and allow Him to work it out through that love.
And although I don't fully understand it..... not all of it anyway... it is always enough to allow Him the ability that He has that far outweighs our own in anything that we can do or even think of doing.
He is enough.
I forget that sometimes.
I think I so often try to add.
And then I am reminded of my inefficiencies.
So many that I couldn't keep track if I wanted to.
Today I am aware that He is enough.
He is more than enough for what I need... and for the needs that I see.
He is enough to heal.
He is enough to come through.
He is enough for those tough situations that I can't reconcile on my own.
He is...... enough.
And the comfort that this brings me... the comfort that it should whether I fully get it or not should be the balm that I let sooth my troubling thought processes. Even those that aren't so troubling.
He should be the everything that I long to bring into every situation and circumstance in my life.
It is so much more than I can give.
So much more than I can do.
And so much more than I can fix.
No matter what, and no matter who.
He can... and He will.
I know it.
And even though I stand on it often times with my knees wobbling a bit... the foundation on which I am standing on never wavers... never fails... because it is always firm.
I hope that wherever you are today, that you will be reminded of Who He is.
That He is more than able... and that He can.
The question I think for us is this....
Are we willing to let Him. To do it His way and not interfere and plan things out on our own?
Are we able to let Him do what only He is able to do?
I hope that you can.
I am in the boat right next to yours praying for myself and all those that I hold dear.
Let us not forget the One who loves us in all our incapability's and faulty fragmented lines....
Let us serve and love Him today out of pure hearts that only seek to know and love Him more.
And just maybe... we might see... even today... what He is more than able to do.
And what you didn't think could ever be done.
... until another tomorrow.
"And as if this were not enough in your sight, O Sovereign LORD, you have also spoken about the future of the house of your servant. Is this your usual way of dealing with man, O Sovereign LORD ?"
2 Samuel 7:19
"Are God's consolations not enough for you,
words spoken gently to you?" Job 15:11