At The Cottage Background

Monday, December 14, 2009


There seems to be a theme that is going around.
It keeps circling and cycling.
I can't seem to get away from it.... and I am not so certain that I want to.
I wrote about it in my last blog note.... and I feel compelled to continue to share what it would seem God is wanting me to get.

I can't just think that this is for me....
it has to be for you too.

Let me begin at the beginning.....

My daughter hasn't been feeling herself.
She is in a new place with new people, and with new things.
The thing that is most different is the food.
It would be fine for the average Joe... which she is not.... and it is not fine for her. Or her body.

She is like me.
I am lucky to tolerate even the most minutest of foods.
My body likes it natural, unprocessed, and whole.
If I even begin to think outside of my very small little box... well, let's just say things are not well with my soul.... or any other part of me.

And she is like me.

She won't complain. She doesn't.
She will just suffer it in silence.
Until the pain becomes unbearable.

I have often cried about this.
Why has this been passed down to her?
It doesn't seem right.... and it doesn't seem fair.

I can handle the suffering on my own...
But when it is your child... you experience a whole new world of hurt.

Before she went we made sure all her ducks were in a row.
Everything in order.
And since we all knew that this was from God... and His calling on her life... we had to give up some measure of control... and trust.
I felt a pressing on my heart before she left in regards to her well being.

A softly whispered promise.....

A promise of healing.... a word of hope.

I tucked this away.... deep down in my pocket and reached in every now and then to reassure myself it was still there.

I have had to pull it out often lately.
Reminding myself that indeed God spoke this to my heart.

And I have doubted it.

That I even heard it.

And so...... this is where the theme comes in.....

Over and over.

Ever since she told me how she is feeling and what has been going on.
And ever since I have wondered if I had heard right.

"With God nothing shall be impossible." Luke 1:37 (KJV)

It was softly spoken into my heart last week as I prayed fervently for her.....
It was in my daily devotional... on more than one occasion.....
It was the subject of my kindergarten teaching this past Sunday.....
And it has been mentioned in the messages at church.

It is so often easy to misunderstand that portion of scripture.
What is seemingly clear can get so hazy.... especially when faced with hazy circumstances.

But God is who He was back then. And He is the same now.

The God with whom all things are possible.
According to His word.
And lined up with His promises.

Do I think that it is just happenstance that my daughter is surrounded by people who happen to have a ministry of healing? ..... No.
Do I think that it is just coincidence that she is in a place, away from home, and needing a definite touch from God? ..... No.
She is not able to lean on us.... she can only share.
She is not able to depend on what is familiar.... but forced to turn to her Heavenly Father more readily.
None of this has escaped my notice.

And it has obviously not escaped God's.

I want to believe.

Especially during this most special of times of the year.

I want to believe.

More than ever.

What holds me back is my own fear.... my own doubt.... and my own limiting abilities.

But God is not held back.

He is not limited.... nor is His power diminished by my lack of knowing.

But He does want... and requires faith.

Not that He will not heal if I am lacking in any of these..... But He wants so much more than just the mere healing .... He wants what it will bring.

Solid, ground breaking, firm faith.
Faith that is unlimited.
Faith that believes.

The knowing that He is able.
To do more abundantly and far surpassing all that I can think or know.

We struggle with this.
We fight it.
Because it goes against everything sensible in our minds.
We are not capable.... so how can it be?

And this is the very thing that He wants to shake our thinking up about.

We are not..... but He is.

We can not.... but He can.

I don't know when.... and I don't know how.
But I choose to believe that He will.

Whatever the circumstance... whatever it is that you may face.... He can.

He can come.
He can fix.
He can heal.

I could add some.... but.... in there somewhere... but I won't.

I feel strongly that I am to leave that out.

And I am going to choose to trust Him.

And I am going to be praying.
On my knees.
And with my whole heart.

And I am going to wait.

I believe that when God promises something.... He will do it.

I have a lot of promises that I have yet to see.... You might have some as well.

But I am holding out hope.... and I am believing and trusting...... and I hope you will too.

Because He was....
And is....
And is to come.

God bless you today.

May you find Him when you seek Him with all your heart.... soul..... and mind.

..... until another tomorrow.


1 comment:

  1. Words have seemed to escape me.
    The tears have not.
    I love you, Mom. And I'm so glad to have someone who understands.