Tuesday, March 16, 2010
The Love of A Father
"3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows."
2 Corinthians 1:3-5
I can't tell you what these words invoke in me.
I went so long for so much of my life without uttering those words.
Hurt and alone.
And it wouldn't be until years later.... much much later in my life when I could feel the slight inkling of feeling like I could say them.
I uttered them silently at first.
Those words meant so much more for me. And what they had meant was not what God wanted them to mean. Not for me. And not over me.
When God healed my relationship with my earthly dad He began to heal so much more in me.
And He began the journey with me to repair and heal all the broken places.
All the shattered hopes and dreams of a little girl.
Now when I say it I can't help but feel this overwhelming feeling of love.
This pouring out of grace... mercy over me and over my life.
I have not been rejected.
I have not been left or unloved. Nor forsaken... not ever forsaken.
I have been loved from the foundations of the earth.
I have been redeemed by the One who has looked on me my whole life.
Who has seen and watched.
Who has sat by my bedside and allowed the tears to fall with me over my hurt. Over my deep deep pains.
He has cared and loved me for all of my life.
He has walked beside me and even followed a little behind as I charged ahead to do what I thought needed doing.
He waited for me.
He has always been here... waiting for me.
Far more than I deserve. And far more than I can understand,grasp, or comprehend.
When I have felt like all hope has been lost, He has graciously allowed me to wallow only to gently nudge and remind me that what I have chosen to believe is not the truth. It is not from Him.
Because we all have a bad day.
We all struggle and fight to believe and hold onto what we are desperate for.
Clinging and surviving.
God is not powerless to help us.
He is not unable to step into any one of our circumstances.
But we often... so often shut Him out.
Tell Him, "Not now."
Or worse yet.... "You scare me. I don't think I can trust You."
How this must hurt Him.
How we must hurt Him.
I'm sorry Lord.
I'm so sorry Father.
You deserve nothing less than my heart. My entire and whole heart.
Poured out for you, just as You have poured out for me.
The love of a Savior. Poured out and poured out.
And if that is not love......
then I don't know what is.
And because of that love... I can now say.... Father.
I can now utter daddy.... with the emotion and longing that I have craved and longed for for so long.
I can now cry.... Abba.....Abba.... my Father... my Daddy.
Oh God..... Your love reaches to the heavens... Your faithfulness... stretches to the skies.... (Psalm 36:5,6)
Your love humbles me... it keeps me in this place of deep awe.. reverence.
Father God... You are to be respected and loved.
Looked upon as great and mighty.
Able to do and accomplish... able to go before and break down strongholds before fortified by our enemy.
God you are able... More than able....
And Father.... I am sorry that I have doubted You.
I am sorry that I have struggled to believe and stand on Your Word and Your promises.
To my family.
To so many... others who I can not count or name.
I'm sorry that I have kept my eyes focused on circumstance instead of your love.
Instead of Your promises.
Instead of Your faithfulness.
Perfect love casts out fear..... It casts it... tosses it... and throws it away, and down. (1 John 4:18)
God You have put the enemy under Your feet, and because of that... and because of Your love for me... he is under mine too.
Praise You God!
I am fearfully and wonderfully made!!
And Father I love you.....
i love you.
Thank you for rescuing me.
For coming for me.
For not leaving or abandoning me to myself.
To my thoughts.
To my ways.
To my very way of thinking.
Your ways are my ways.
Your thoughts my thoughts.
You are mine.
And I belong to the only Father who's name is like no other....
King of all Kings.
With all authority over ALL things and over ALL THE WAYS OF MAN AND OVER OUR ENEMY(S).
Over it all.
OVER IT ALL.
You ARE God.
You ARE Father.
You ARE my Daddy.
With a deep affection for all Your children.
You take pity on us... You have grace and mercy for us.
You are able, ready, and longing to pour out on us....
Your deep and abiding love.
And for that...
Because of that...
I owe it all.
I am Yours.
And I belong to You.
Thank you... Father God... for everything.
Seen or unseen.
Because Your Word says it.... and I choose to believe it and stand on it.
Your love is steeped in Your promises for us. For me.
Help us not to forget it.
Fortify our walls God.
Against lies... against principalities... and against every lofty thing that would try and come against the knowledge of Who You ARE. (2 Cor. 10:4,5)
WHO YOU ARE.
You are all in all.
i am yours.
I am Yours.
I AM YOURS.
and I belong to You.