Glimpses of Yesterday.....

New Years Eve......

Wow.

How did the year get past me?

It went by with the speed of light..... with the intensity of a birth in progress..... and full of events like a country fair.

Okay.... maybe a little cheesy with the metaphors.... but it is so true!

I can close my eyes and see yesterday..... so many of my yesterdays.

They blur with the speed that they happened in......

My daughters senior year, dances, pictures, performances, graduations, driving my kids to dance classes, rehearsals, shows, endless nights of projects and homework......

Moments alone on the couch gazing out my front window dreaming..... wondering.... doubting... worrying..... reaching out to my Heavenly Father with a desperate grab.....

Being broken.... beat up and torn apart......

Getting rescued.... repaired..... and slowly put back together again.

Laughter...... tears.... and looking into the eyes of my child turned woman, watching my youngest daughter who wants to grow up fast and follow in the footsteps of her sister.... and my son who was just a baby yesterday and is now quickly aproaching the world of a young man.....

I keep wondering where the time has gone......

I have so often this past year wanted to yell and scream for time to stop.....

Slow down. Let me take a breath.

To take in the moments of sweet surrender.

To breath in deep of the rich blessings surrounding me.

Family.... friends who proved their worth more than gold.

Commitments..... broken hearts..... achievements.... and defeats.

Awards and accolades...... reaching goals and attaining things that seemed unattainable.

New people.... new friendships forged...... old ones made new.

Dreams realized..... and goodbyes...... so many goodbyes.

Holding on and letting go.......

I am standing in the middle of a sea of memories.

A world that seems too large to have been made in one year.

Emotions..... and feelings that tumble one after the other.

Over and over again.

Tangible and real..... and even though they have come and gone their imprint is indelible.

I am overwhelmed with gratefulness.... with welled up emotions that come spilling back when conjured up in thought once again.

This past year has been full.... so full.

Questions... some answered.... and some not.

At times confusing... and at others so clear that I could see for miles.

Growing.... changing.... evolving.... redefining..... and rediscovering.

Learning who I am for the first time in my life.... and finding myself when I thought I would stay lost forever.

Learning to dream again..... and hope.

Learning to trust..... and close my eyes and jump into the unknown......

Falling into the arms of grace..... realizing that they were there all along.

I am not sure where your year has been.... or where you have gone......

But I hope that in the midst of it all that you can stand and look back and see God's hands.... ...... and His love carving out the way....

I pray that you will discover that you were never really alone.

That you will know more than anything else that He loves you..... and is still holding you.

Whether you are forging new roads..... or taking different paths.

Whether you are deciding on which fork to take......

I pray that you will look up and all around you..... and that you will see the One who has been there from the very beginning...... all of your beginnings.... and He is walking into this new year with you......

And all that awaits you.

As we look forward I hope we don't forget to look back every now and then......

Not at the disappointments or things that we would rather forget.....

But at the wisps of His healing winds..... and the fresh scents of His abiding love... looking forward to the hope of new beginnings like the fresh smells of spring.

Happy New Year.....

.... until another tomorrow.

~m.